We are a great nation of talkers. The gift of the gab and all that. But what about moments of silence and the lost art of listening? I’ll talk about active listening in another post but today I want to touch on the power of silence.
I was reading a book this week written by Fred Rogers, the creator and host of the television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, which ran from 1968 to 2001 (Tom Hanks recently played his role in the movie “A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood”).
In his book, Mr Rogers discussed the importance of silence.
“I need thinking time when someone asks me a searching question. I wonder why it seems to be so uncomfortable for many people to wait through the silence. People of all ages have deep feelings and if we have the patience to wait through the silence, it’s often astonishing what people will tell us”
I could not agree more. Creating moments of silence is a key part of my coaching work and it very often results in real progress, discovery and insight for the people I work with. Central to the use of silence of course is creating a safe and empowering setting and rapport. Our in-built capacity to talk is strong so it can take a little practice to get comfortable with using silence. But believe me, it’s really worth it.
So here is a small challenge for you. Pick someone you work with or one of your friends or someone in your family. Start a conversation and then gradually work in moments of silence. Try to give the other person some more room, space and time to talk and reflect.
You might be pleasantly surprised about what extra you learn.
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